And as my brother, who would have been
our principal honour on such an occasion, is gone abroad; and as ours is
an elderly novelty, as I may say, [Our fineries were not ready, you know,
before my brother went,] I was fervent against it.
'I was the only woman of condition, in England, who would be against it.'
I told my lord, that was a reflection on my sex: but Lord and Lady L----,
who had been spoken to, I believe, by Lady Gertrude, were both on his
side--[I shall have this man utterly ruined for a husband among you]--
When there were three to one, it would have looked cowardly to yield, you
know. I was brave. But it being proposed for Sunday, and that being at
a little distance, it was not doubted but I would comply. So the night
passed off, with prayings, hopings, and a little mutteration. [Allow me
that word, or find me a better.] The entreaty was renewed in the
morning; but, no!--'I was ashamed of him,' he said. I asked him if he
really thought so?--'He should think so, if I refused him.' Heaven
forbid, my lord, that I, who contend for the liberty of acting, should
hinder you from the liberty of thinking! Only one piece of advice,
honest friend, said I: don't imagine the worst against yourself: and
another, if you have a mind to carry a point with me, don't bring on the
cause before any body else: for that would be to doubt either my duty, or
your own reasonableness.
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