Sure enough, as I passed up the gravel drive which
curves round to the door, I glanced through the drawing-
room window, and saw her sitting painting, with her back
to the light. It was clear that she had not heard me.
The hall door was ajar, and when I pushed it open, no one
was in the hall. A sudden fit of roguishness came over
me. I pushed the drawing-room door very slowly wider,
crept in on tiptoe, stole quietly across, and bending
down, I kissed the artist upon the nape of her neck. She
turned round with a squeal, and it was the mother!
I don't know whether you have ever been in a tighter
corner than that, Bertie. It was quite tight enough for
me. I remember that I smiled as I stole across the
carpet on that insane venture. I did not smile again
that evening. It makes me hot now when I think of it.
Well, I made the most dreadful fool of myself. At
first, the good lady who (as I think I told you) is very
dignified and rather reserved, could not believe her
senses. Then, as the full force of my enormity came upon
her she reared herself up until she seemed the tallest
and the coldest woman I had ever seen. It was an
interview with a refrigerator. She asked me what I had
ever observed in her conduct which had encouraged me to
subject her to such an outrage. I saw, of course, that
any excuses upon my part would put her on the right track
and give poor Laura away; so I stood with my hair
bristling and my top hat in my hand, presenting, I am
sure, a most extraordinary figure.
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