If I ever do hear anything, which is
exceedingly doubtful, you may be sure that I will put a
finish to this long story.
III.
HOME, 15th October, 1881.
Without any figure of speech I feel quite ashamed
when I think of you, Bertie. I send you one or two
enormously long letters, burdened, as far as I can
remember them, with all sorts of useless detail. Then,
in spite of your kindly answers and your sympathy, which
I have done so little to deserve, I drop you completely
for more than six months. By this J pen I swear that it
shall not happen again; and this letter may serve to
bridge the gap and to bring you up to date in my poor
affairs, in which, of all outer mankind, you alone take
an interest.
To commence with what is of most moment, you may rest
assured that what you said in your last letter about
religion has had my most earnest attention. I am sorry
that I have not got it by me to refer to (I lent it to
Charlie), but I think I have the contents in my head. It
is notorious, as you say, that an unbeliever may
be as bigoted as any of the orthodox, and that a man may
be very dogmatic in his opposition to dogma. Such men
are the real enemies of free thought. If anything could
persuade me to turn traitor to my reason, it would, for
example, be the blasphemous and foolish pictures
displayed in some of the agnostic journals.
But every movement has its crowd of camp followers.
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