"
And I believe this may have been the case with many, who, having,
for want of some such means as I employ'd, found the difficulty
of obtaining good and breaking bad habits in other points of vice
and virtue, have given up the struggle, and concluded that "a
speckled ax was best"; for something, that pretended to be reason,
was every now and then suggesting to me that such extream nicety as I
exacted of myself might be a kind of foppery in morals, which, if it
were known, would make me ridiculous; that a perfect character
might be attended with the inconvenience of being envied and hated;
and that a benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
In truth, I found myself incorrigible with respect to Order;
and now I am grown old, and my memory bad, I feel very sensibly
the want of it. But, on the whole, tho' I never arrived at
the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far
short of it, yet I was, by the endeavour, a better and a happier
man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it;
as those who aim at perfect writing by imitating the engraved copies,
tho' they never reach the wish'd-for excellence of those copies,
their hand is mended by the endeavor, and is tolerable while it
continues fair and legible.
It may be well my posterity should be informed that to this
little artifice, with the blessing of God, their ancestor ow'd the
constant felicity of his life, down to his 79th year, in which this
is written.
Pages:
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133