2. Being of an epicurean disposition, he threw the culinary department
of his hotel into confusion by ordering for his dinner vermicelli
soup, a bologna sausage, anchovies, calf's brains fried, and half
a gooseberry pie. For the resulting dyspepsia he took acetic and
tartaric acid, according to allopathy, and when his aunt, a fair
matron of six decades, called, he was tyrannic and combative, and
laughed like a brigand until she was obliged to succumb to his
contumacy.
3. Etiquette being thus annihilated, he became amenable to tenderer
passions. He sent a letter, inviting his inamorata to a matinee,
together with an eighteen-carat gold ring. She revolted at the idea of
accompanying him, and sent a note full of piquant raillery, which led
her suitor to procure a carbine and a sword, with some apparatus, and
to declare that he would not forge hymeneal chains upon any one.
4. So proceeding to an isolated spot, without comrades, he severed
his jugular vein, and discharged the carbine into his abdomen. When
inquiry was made, he was found dead, and the coroner sat on the debris
and did his exact duty, though it was no couch of eider he occupied.
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