I saw her often at Richmond, I heard of her often in town, and I
used often to take her and the Brandleys on the water; there were
picnics, f?te days, plays, operas, concerts, parties, all sorts of
pleasures, through which I pursued her,--and they were all miseries
to me. I never had one hour's happiness in her society, and yet my
mind all round the four-and-twenty hours was harping on the
happiness of having her with me unto death.
Throughout this part of our intercourse,--and it lasted, as will
presently be seen, for what I then thought a long time,--she
habitually reverted to that tone which expressed that our
association was forced upon us. There were other times when she
would come to a sudden check in this tone and in all her many
tones, and would seem to pity me.
"Pip, Pip," she said one evening, coming to such a check, when we
sat apart at a darkening window of the house in Richmond; "will you
never take warning?"
"Of what?"
"Of me."
"Warning not to be attracted by you, do you mean, Estella?"
"Do I mean! If you don't know what I mean, you are blind."
I should have replied that Love was commonly reputed blind, but for
the reason that I always was restrained--and this was not the
least of my miseries--by a feeling that it was ungenerous to press
myself upon her, when she knew that she could not choose but obey
Miss Havisham.
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