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Various

"Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 30, October 22, 1870"

:
_Whereas:_ Charles Sumner has, somehow or other, got one foot kerslop on
our platform;
_Whereas:_ He must go the hul hog or none;
_Be it resolved:_ We can't take any stock in Charly, ontil he wears his
hair parted in the middle and done up in a waterfall, pledgin' himself
to go his entire length, next winter, for the 16th Commendment.
(Enthusiastic applause. Cries of "them's um!" "Kor-rect!" "Selah!'"
etc.; "Bully boy with the glass eye!" etc., etc.)
Mrs. How then got up and said thusly: "My friends: I'me down onto
colleges like a 1000 of brick. They are the mad puddles of artificial
ignorance. If a red-headed woman was alowed to shed her lite, the
proffessors would be throwed into the shades rite lively. The result
would be, the blind would lead the near-sited by the nose. Them's my
sentiments."
Stephen L. Fostir got up and said:
"He woulden't go to the poles on eleckshun without his wife as his ekal
a hangin' on his arm."
Mrs. LIVERMORE sprung quickly to her feet and said: "She'd bet $4.00 if
she was Steve's wife, he'd go to the poles under diffikilties, then, for
she wasen't the woman who thought the man lived that was the ekal of any
woman; and that hain't all," said she. "When we get hold of the ballit,
man has got to get up early in the mornin' to fool _us_ much. All the
koketting with the Democrats, Republicans, Prohibitionists, and Labor
Reformers in the offis of the _Woman's Journal_, last summer, don't
amount to shucks.


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