At least let us hope
that the change will offer a reputable business for the army of beggars
which has formerly been licensed by the church. A chance will now be
offered them to become newspaper agents, thus making a living
respectably by selling accounts of other people's deformities, instead
of disreputably by exhibiting their own.
* * * * *
A CAPITOL MOVE.
The immediate probability of the formation of the United States of
Europe, suggests how wise we were not to change the location of the
Capitol to some facetiously distant western metropolis of the future.
The Capitol buildings are quite large enough to receive the delegates
who will of course come on here to study the art of log-rolling, while
the Chesapeake, being navigable almost to the Capitol steps, will save
them the fatigue of a luxurious journey in the palace sleeping cars.
* * * * *
Sublunary Observations of the Sun.
From a careful analysis of the daily appearance of the _Sun_, it has
been satisfactorily settled that it is completely enveloped in gas. By
the application of the literary spectrum, it is also shown that this
gaseous vaporization is the result of brass in a high state of
incandescence, while the indications of alkalies, and, in fact, all
kinds of lies, are no less distinct.
* * * * *
Forethought.
One reason why this country is so earnestly opposed to the Napoleonic
dynasty, is that there is no probability that the descendants of the
Prince Imperial would give us any assistance in settling the Alabama
Question.
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