He sat on the side of the bed for
an hour, stupefied, little strands of consciousness appearing and
reappearing. But he did not move, for a long time he remained inert,
his head dropped on his breast.
Then he looked up and realised that he was going to bed. He was cold.
Soon he was lying down in the dark.
But what he could not bear was the darkness. The solid darkness
confronting him drove him mad. So he rose, and made a light. He
remained seated for a while, staring in front. He did not think of
Gudrun, he did not think of anything.
Then suddenly he went downstairs for a book. He had all his life been
in terror of the nights that should come, when he could not sleep. He
knew that this would be too much for him, to have to face nights of
sleeplessness and of horrified watching the hours.
So he sat for hours in bed, like a statue, reading. His mind, hard and
acute, read on rapidly, his body understood nothing. In a state of
rigid unconsciousness, he read on through the night, till morning,
when, weary and disgusted in spirit, disgusted most of all with
himself, he slept for two hours.
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