You
can't help despising me; I despise myself. I used to think that I was a
man, but I have given that up; I am a poor creature! I used to think I
could take things quietly and bear them bravely. But I can't! If it were
not for very shame I could sit here and cry to you.' 'Don't mind me,'
I said; 'you know it is a part of our agreement that I was not to
be critical.' 'Our agreement?' he repeated, vaguely. 'I see you have
forgotten it,' I answered; 'but it does n't in the least matter; it is
not of that I wish to talk to you. All the more that it has n't done you
a particle of good. I have been extremely nice with you for a week;
but you are just as unhappy now as you were at the beginning. Indeed, I
think you are rather worse.' 'Heaven forgive me, Miss Vivian, I believe
I am!' he cried. 'Heaven will easily forgive you; you are on the wrong
road. To catch up with your happiness, which has been running away from
you, you must take another; you must travel in the same direction as
Blanche; you must not separate yourself from your wife.' At the sound of
Blanche's name he jumped up and took his usual tone; he knew all about
his wife, and needed no information. But I made him sit down again, and
I made him listen to me.
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