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James, Henry, 1843-1916

"Confidence"

Then I saw her
with new eyes, and I wondered I could have been so blind. But I was n't
ready for her till then, and what makes me so happy now is to know that
I have come to my present way of feeling by experience. That gives me
confidence--you see I am a reasoner still. But I am under the charm, for
all my reason. We are to be married in a month--try and come back to the
wedding. Blanche sends you a message, which I will give you verbatim.
'Tell him I am not such a silly little chatterbox as I used to be at
Baden. I am a great deal wiser; I am almost as clever as Angela Vivian.'
She has an idea you thought Miss Vivian very clever--but it is not true
that she is equally so. I am very happy; come home and see."
Bernard went home, but he was not able to reach the United States in
time for Gordon's wedding, which took place at midsummer. Bernard,
arriving late in the autumn, found his friend a married man of some
months' standing, and was able to judge, according to his invitation,
whether he appeared happy. The first effect of the letter I have just
quoted had been an immense surprise; the second had been a series
of reflections which were quite the negative of surprise; and these
operations of Bernard's mind had finally merged themselves in a simple
sentiment of jollity.


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