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James, Henry, 1843-1916

"Confidence"


Such a result was certainly a remarkable one, for it is almost
superfluous to intimate that Miss Vivian was, in fact, perpetually in
his thoughts. He made it a point of conscience not to think of her, but
he was thinking of her most when his conscience was most lively. Bernard
had a conscience--a conscience which, though a little irregular in
its motions, gave itself in the long run a great deal of exercise; but
nothing could have been more natural than that, curious, imaginative,
audacious as he was, and delighting, as I have said, in the play of his
singularly nimble intelligence, he should have given himself up to a
sort of unconscious experimentation. "I will leave her alone--I will be
hanged if I attempt to draw her out!" he said to himself; and meanwhile
he was roaming afield and plucking personal impressions in great
fragrant handfuls. All this, as I say, was natural, given the man and
the situation; the only oddity is that he should have fancied himself
able to persuade the person most interested that he had renounced his
advantage.
He remembered her telling him that she cared very much what he should
say of her on Gordon Wright's return, and he felt that this declaration
had a particular significance.


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