He said: ``He drive this machine!
Oh, he would be lucky if he knew enough to get out
when we get there.''
I must tell you about a rich man's son at
Niagara Falls. I came in from the lecture to the
hotel, and as I approached the desk of the clerk
there stood a millionaire's son from New York.
He was an indescribable specimen of anthropologic
potency. He had a skull-cap on one side
of his head, with a gold tassel in the top of it, and
a gold-headed cane under his arm with more in
it than in his head. It is a very difficult thing
to describe that young man. He wore an eye-
glass that he could not see through, patent-
leather boots that he could not walk in, and pants
that he could not sit down in--dressed like a
grasshopper. This human cricket came up to the
clerk's desk just as I entered, adjusted his
unseeing eye-glass, and spake in this wise to the clerk.
You see, he thought it was ``Hinglish, you know,''
to lisp. ``Thir, will you have the kindness to
supply me with thome papah and enwelophs!''
The hotel clerk measured that man quick, and
he pulled the envelopes and paper out of a drawer,
threw them across the counter toward the young
man, and then turned away to his books.
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