I own I like
responsibility; it flatters one and then, your father might say, I
have more to gain than to lose. Moreover I do like this bloodless,
painless combat with wood and iron, forcing the stubborn rascals to
do my will, licking the clumsy cubs into an active shape, seeing
the child of to-day's thought working to-morrow in full vigour at
his appointed task.
'May 12.
'By dint of bribing, bullying, cajoling, and going day by day to
see the state of things ordered, all my work is very nearly ready
now; but those who have neglected these precautions are of course
disappointed. Five hundred fathoms of chain [were] ordered by -
some three weeks since, to be ready by the 10th without fail; he
sends for it to-day - 150 fathoms all they can let us have by the
15th - and how the rest is to be got, who knows? He ordered a boat
a month since and yesterday we could see nothing of her but the
keel and about two planks. I could multiply instances without end.
At first one goes nearly mad with vexation at these things; but one
finds so soon that they are the rule, that then it becomes
necessary to feign a rage one does not feel.
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