Intelligent and caring, she had written to him regularly, sent
holiday cards and gifts, and baked and mailed cookies. He did not
acknowledge.
When Grandpa did telephone-not often-he spoke briefly with the
youngster's parents but avoided talking to her. He had not visited for a
long time, lived alone, and was a loner with few friends. The mother's
letter did not mention a Grandma, and appealed for a 'suggestion.'
I responded that the parent review grandfather's wellness and what his
self-image might be in the light of his past. Had he always been as
withdrawn as he now appeared to be? How had he related emotionally to
his family when his children were young? Had the family been close, or
had Dad been distant even then toward his children and their mother? If
he had been a close and caring father, when did changes occur that were
significantly different, as currently displayed toward his only
grandchild?
What might have brought the changes on? Advancing age can be an
important factor: changes that occur during a person's eighth decade and
beyond can be ravaging, especially if health had seriously deteriorated or
a great personal loss experienced.
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