Through their remembering he
will become the 'grandpa' he had sought, long before, to be. Persistence,
I reminded him-not giving up-was vital to his well being if not to his life.
To stop trying would be to accept defeat. The elderly do not take defeats
lightly; at some point the added weight accelerates their downward spiral.
What he was doing for his grandchildren, I wrote, might have profound
effects long after he was gone. Grandparenting is both here and now
and for the long haul, and it influences grandchildren across their entire
life span, not merely for the few years that grandparents were right there
to offer guidance and hold them close.
Grandchildren rarely realize it when they're kids-very often not even well
into in their middle years-but the grandparents in their lives are forever.
Most adults finally figure it out in their latter years. In time, grandkids
figure it out-in their turn.
***
A woman wrote to me about her pre-teenage daughter's repeated but
futile attempts to communicate with her grandfather. He was in his
eighth decade and resided in a distant state; the youngster was his only
grandchild.
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