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Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew), 1860-1937

"What Every Woman Knows"

Leave such maggots alone, Maggie.
MAGGIE. It's a shame of me not to give you up.
JOHN. I would consider you a very foolish woman if you did.
MAGGIE. If I were John Shand I would no more want to take Maggie
Wylie with me through the beautiful door that has opened wide for you
than I would want to take an old pair of shoon. Why don't you bang
the door in my face, John? [A tremor runs through JOHN.]
JOHN. A bargain's a bargain, Maggie.
[MAGGIE moves about, an eerie figure, breaking into little cries. She
flutters round him, threateningly.]
MAGGIE. Say one word about wanting to get out of it, and I'll put the
lawyers on you.
JOHN. Have I hinted at such a thing?
MAGGIE. The document holds you hard and fast.
JOHN. It does.
[She gloats miserably.]
MAGGIE. The woman never rises with the man. I'll drag you down, John.
I'll drag you down.
JOHN. Have no fear of that, I won't let you. I'm too strong.
MAGGIE. You'll miss the prettiest thing in the world, and all owing
to me.
JOHN. What's that?
MAGGIE. Romance.
JOHN. Poof.
MAGGIE. All's cold and grey without it, John. They that have had it
have slipped in and out of heaven.
JOHN. You're exaggerating, Maggie.
MAGGIE. You've worked so hard, you've had none of the fun that comes
to most men long before they're your age.
JOHN. I never was one for fun. I cannot call to mind, Maggie, ever
having laughed in my life.


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