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Various

"Punch Among the Planets"


"Queer paper, my dear Miss DIANNER," sez I, "wot do _you_ think?" Sez
she,
"A mere Vision of Vanities, mortal, of no speshal interest to me.
_I_ am not the keeper of Limbo, although it is found in my sphere.
Everything that's absurd and unnatural claims a clear right to come
_here_.
"See, the latest Art-Hobbies are ambling about with their 'eads in the
air,
And their riders are tilting like true toothpick paladins. SMUDGE over
there
Makes a bee-line for SCRATCH in this corner, whilst MUCK and the
Mawkish at odds,
Clash wildly, and Naturalism pink Sentiment painfully prods."
Then I twigged Penny WHISTLER's white plume, and the haddypose HOSCAR
upreared,
His big hairy horryflame, CHARLIE, whilst Phillistines looked on and
jeered.
I see Nature, as Narstiness, ramping at wot Nambypamby dubbed Nice,
And Twoddle parading as Virtue, and Silliness playing at Vice.
Here was pooty girls Primrosing madly, and spiling their tempers a lump,
By telling absurd taradiddles for some big political pump;
[Illustration]
And there wos 'ard-mouthed middle-aged 'uns a shaking the Socherlist
flag,
And a ramping like tiger-cats tipsy around a rediklus red rag.
[Illustration]
There wos patriots playing the clown, there was magistrates playing the
fool;
There wos jugginses teaching the trombone to kids at a bloomin' Board
School.


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